


Misdirection

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Explicit Language, High School, M/M, Rough Kissing, Verbal Abuse, optional happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 20:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3703981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has a breaking point - it's just unfortunate that Rick was around when Kieren reached his, and happened to be the person it was taken out on.</p><p>For the <a href="http://intheflesh-art.tumblr.com/post/114170899204/intheflesh-art-an-anon-noticed-that-they-would">In The Flesh Short Story 2015 challenge</a> run by <a href="http://intheflesh-art.tumblr.com/">intheflesh-art</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it mean that I want to break hearts and make people cry? Probably.
> 
> The second chapter is optional, and is there to give you a slightly happier ending, if you're into that sorta thing. You don't have to be, it's okay.

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.  
**    *** [intheflesh-art](http://intheflesh-art.tumblr.com/) has my permission to use whichever excerpts they wish as part of any posts they make promoting the event ***

If you are reading this anywhere other than my (theundeadsiren) tumblr, AO3 or livejournal, then please [let me know](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/ask/), including a link to where you found it, so I can take steps to have it removed. For a list of people given permission to use parts of my works, please see [here](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/permission).

Thank you for respecting my wishes

* * *

 

Rick watched helplessly as Kieren turned to storm off for the second time that day.

“And don’t fucking follow me!” the blond turned to yell, arms slamming down in the air in emphasis of the finality of his words. Rick didn’t try. He stilled the instinct to move, and stood rooted to the spot, stunned. Twigs cracked underfoot as Kieren hastily receded, being swallowed in mere seconds in the heavily wooded forest. And still, Rick stared after him.

He wasn’t sure what to do, or think. There was still a raw numbness around his heart where Kieren’s words had cut into him. How could it hurt so much? The fact Kieren had turned on him like that… Rick hadn’t seen it coming. He supposed he should have, but Kieren didn’t suffer outbursts like that – and certainly not directed at Rick.

Kieren’s anger hadn’t been aimed at Rick to start with. It seemed to have been aimed at the world in general, and at the groove for the lid of the scientific calculator which had been in Kieren’s bag when Gary had grabbed it and smashed it around a lamppost. The calculator had cracked on impact, as had a few other things in the bag. Rick’s encouragement to ‘ _fucking quit it, Gaz_ ,’ had given Kieren the chance to snatch his things back, but he hadn’t waited for Rick to catch up with him. Chasing after Kieren, Rick had been content to listen patiently and understandingly to the torrent of expletives Kieren was spewing as he checked through the contents of his bag while they walked. Finally reaching the woods and coming across a fallen tree, Kieren had sat down and angrily started fiddling with the damaged calculator while Rick stood and watched, feeling helpless.

Gary trying to pick on Kieren wasn’t unusual, despite Rick’s best efforts stop him whenever he tried to start on anyone. It just seemed that Kieren was his favourite person to pick on. The older they got, the less Rick liked to admit Gary was a friend, and he supposed that after what had happened last week on the bus back from school, he really didn’t want to be around Gary at all. Flicking paper at people was funny, spitting gum and trying to get it in peoples’ hair was just cruel and disgusting.

At least he hadn’t tried to do that to Kieren. Rick had sighed helplessly as Kieren became more and more frustrated, his voice cracking as he shouted at the broken calculator in anger.

‘ _It’s just an inanimate object, Ren_.’ Rick had pointed out

He found himself flinching, reacting on instinct as Kieren flung himself forwards and stood, anger and hatred suddenly directed at Rick as shouted in response.

‘ _You’re an inanimate fucking object!_ ’

Kieren had almost immediately backed off, half sitting down as he grabbed his bag and aggressively flung his calculator back in, clearly beyond caring about the contents. He didn’t seem to notice or care about the effect his words had on Rick as he threw his bag over his shoulder and started storming away.

It was Kieren leaving that had broken Rick out of the cold, painful shock. Kieren had never shouted at him like that before – he couldn’t even remember a time when Kieren had ever raised his voice at him before. And it hurt. It wasn’t just the force of anger that had been directed at him, but the words too. They made Rick feel worthless. Words like that he expected and feared from his dad, not from his best friend. Kieren was the one person he fought for every day and loved spending time with more than anyone else. He was the only person Rick could feel relaxed and safe around, and now it felt like Kieren thought so little of him that he didn’t even count Rick as human.

It had taken more than it should to catch up to Kieren, begging him to stop. Rick could recognise the familiar threat of panic rising in his chest, but pushed it down, afraid to let it show. Kieren didn’t mean it, he couldn’t.

Only he seemed to. As Rick caught up to him, Kieren stopped and turned, verbally laying into Rick with such venom the breath caught in Rick’s throat, threatening to choke him as he tried to swallow around the lump that had formed, constricted his throat even further. The words were hurled at him, piercing him until he was blind from it, completely lost and helpless under the weight of the hatred Kieren was directing at him. Kieren fucking hated him, he wished they’d never been friends, he couldn’t fucking stand being around Rick and seeing how pathetic he was. He hated how Rick always begged and twisted for attention and praise, and how he liked to pretend he was so goddamn perfect and decent and always stood up for people, when really he was spineless piece of shit who cowered at the mere mention of his dad and would never amount to anything because he was as worthless as his drunken asshole father, and Kieren fucking hated him, he hated them both, and Rick was welcome to his piece of shit life, with his piece of shit friends and his piece of shit family.

The physical blow that came as Kieren’s lips crashed against his barely registered before Rick blinked away the tears, starting after Kieren, who had already turned to leave again. ‘ _And don’t fucking follow me!_ ’ Kieren yelled back at him. Rick quelled the instinct to follow, still trying to catch up with what had just happened.

There was no one around to hear or see, but Rick still tried to choke back the sobs that had been escaping, ashamed of the emotional response. He’d done something awful, and couldn’t quite understand how he’d fucked up so badly. All he’d ever done was try to be a good friend to Kieren. How had he not seen that Kieren didn’t want that? Kieren didn’t want him. Rick wasn’t good enough. He _was_ useless and pathetic and worthless.

The bruising sting on his lips was just as painful as everything else – Rick couldn’t understand it. He didn’t know what to do with it.

So, like everything else he couldn’t understand or control, he tried to push it deep down, along with the feelings Kieren’s outburst had evoked, and shut it away, fighting to regain his composure one small step at a time.

It was a long time before he was able to head home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read! I hope it was passable.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always greatly appreciated <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will give you a slightly happier ending...

Kieren wouldn’t speak to him. Kieren wouldn’t even look at him. The rejection hurt so much Rick knew that anyone who saw him would be able to read his emotions clearly, and he hated that. He hated feeling so vulnerable and alone. He’d wanted to believe that everything would be okay the next day, and that what happened had just been and ugly part of an unbelievably shitty day, but Kieren had turned away the second he’d noticed Rick, and the swell of warmth and hope Rick had felt in seeing his friend had been shattered, the fragments piercing him painfully. Kieren had really meant what he said.

But Kieren no longer seemed angry. He seemed dejected and withdrawn, shrinking in on himself and trying not to be noticed. Rick had barely seen him all day, and although they shared a class, Kieren had sat as far away from their usual seats as possible, not contributing to the class discussion at all. At lunch, when they bumped into each other in the queue, Rick had been startled to see as much pain in those wide, expressive brown eyes as he himself felt, but before he could say anything, Kieren had slipped away through the crowd, leaving Rick standing there like an idiot. Somewhere behind him, Gary had snickered.

Rick hadn’t been able to concentrate after that. He didn’t know what he’d done to upset Kieren so much. He didn’t know how to make it right. He was tearing himself apart trying to work out how to fix it – how to fix himself.

He eventually told Gary to piss off, and had walked out of the canteen and scared some younger kids off a bench so he could sit on his own outside, away from everyone else.

Back in class, he’d not even thought about his actions. When Kieren had raised his hand and asked to be excused, Rick had raised his about ten seconds later, inexplicably possessed by the need to see Kieren. Alone. The teacher had just shrugged and let him go. Rick had only caught up with Kieren as the blond pushed the bathroom door open, the click of the heavily weighted door echoing in the tiled room beyond as Rick’s hand closed around Kieren’s other wrist. Half pushing, half pulling them both inside, Rick was startled to find how close they suddenly were, Kieren’s weight trapped between his body and the wall of a stall as they both shook with the force of the impact Rick knew he must have caused, his hand still tightly holding Kieren’s wrist.

“Ren –”

He should have said something more, or even moved away, but the way Kieren was looking at him stole all reason, and he found himself reacting before he could even question the decision to close the remaining distance between them with a kiss.

It wasn’t graceful, it hurt Rick’s already bruised lip, bumping the tender flesh against his teeth and no doubt doing the same to Kieren, but Kieren didn’t seem to care. He was pushing against Rick, free hand reaching up and gripping fiercely at Rick’s hair, tugging roughly as he forced them even closer together, greedily taking everything he could. His body was lithe beneath Rick, shifting to find advantage, although seemingly forgetting about the wrist Rick had pinned to the wall. Everything about the kiss was rough and unforgiving, and as Rick struggled to level his breathing through his nose, letting Kieren force them back towards the opposite wall. As they crashed against the door Rick gave a muted yelp of pain as the door handle dug sharply into his back, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he was pulling Kieren to him, letting go of his wrist in favour of pushing a hand through Kieren’s hair and threading his fingers into the soft strands, Rick’s other arm snaking around his waist. There was too much to take in and to try to understand, so Rick didn’t try. It felt right, so he let it happen. Something deep inside was hurting, and he could feel it mirrored in Kieren too – a desperation that made them both fight for every moment of this, because they both needed it so badly.

Rick didn’t know why the kiss broke, and although he immediately hated the loss, a part of his mind voiced sense – they were in school, for fuck sakes, in the goddamn boy’s toilets. Anyone could walk in.

Thumb brushing over Keiren’s cheek as Rick took in his friend’s flushed appearance, he stole two more light, tender kisses that he supposed were closer to kisses than what had just happened between them, and then relaxed back against the wall.

Shit, he’d kissed his best friend.

And only dizzying elation followed that realisation. Rick wanted nothing more than to do it again.

“I really need to piss,” Kieren stated, distracting Rick, whose lips hurt even more as he grinned, what they’d just done really sinking in.

“Okay.” He stepped forward as Kieren stepped back, stealing one more lingering kiss for good measure. “Probably best if you go back first. I’ll say I had a dodgy sarnie at lunch or something.”

Kieren pulled a face, disentangling himself from Rick. “Gross,” he muttered, heading to the urinals. Rick gave a short laugh, turning to the sink and checking his own appearance. Kieren would need to sort his hair before going back, but there was little they could do about how red his lips were. Rick’s were somehow worse off, and even looked a little swollen in one spot where they had caught against the edge of his tooth. Rick tongued at it, knowing he was probably making it worse, as he waited for Kieren.

“We just kissed,” Rick stated, knowing he sounded idiotic, as Kieren returned and started washing his hands. He saw Kieren’s shoulders slump.

“I know,” Kieren said sadly.

“Hey, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing.”

Kieren was carefully quiet.

“Do you want to hang out after school?” Rick offered, his tone still optimistic despite the fact he was now starting to feel uncertain. Kieren’s words from yesterday resurfaced in his mind, and he struggled between them and what had just happened. He saw Kieren shrug, and doubt tugged strongly at him.

“Ren… did you mean… ya know, yesterday…?”

Kieren’s head was down, his gaze fixed on the floor. After the longest pause Rick could remembered enduring, Kieren finally shook his head. Rick almost crumpled with the relief.

“I don’t…” Kieren started. “I’m sorry.”

Rick heard his voice crack in a tell-tale way, and reached out, his hand finding Kieren’s cold, wet one. He held it all the same.

“It’s okay. We can talk about it later, if you want.”

Kieren looked up at him again, biting an already reddened lip. “I don’t hate you,” he rushed. Rick felt himself calming down at the admission, even though he’d worked out a few minutes ago that Kieren didn’t actually hate him.

“I know you don’t,” he said gently, moving closer and searching for something in Kieren’s expression, hoping he wouldn’t find refusal as he tested Kieren’s willingness to meet him for another kiss. “And I’m sorry for everything I did that hurt or upset you.”

“You didn’t,” Kieren mumbled, the words felt more than heard as their lips met far more kindly than before, Kieren tilting his jaw and controlling the kiss with surprising tenderness. Rick wanted to melt against him and deepen it, but he could tell Kieren was holding back and didn’t push for more. Kieren broke away after just a few seconds, leaving Rick leaning after more. He almost missed the explosive power he knew Kieren was capable of as much as he mourned the chance to learn this new kind of kiss. Later, he supposed, as Kieren put what was supposed to be a safe distance between them and Rick reluctantly let go of his hand.

“Save me a seat on the bus?” Rick asked, figuring it was his turn to say something. There was no way he wanted to sit with Gary.

Kieren nodded. “Okay. See you back in class?”

Kieren was ungraciously wiping his hands dry on his clothes, and it was Rick’s turn to bite his lip as he nodded and watched his friend reach for the door – the imprint of which he could still feel throbbing dully on his back. It wasn’t the best ache, though – that was the tingling in his lips – but nor was it the worst – that was the sudden uncertainty as to where this left them as friends.

With a small smile from Kieren, Rick was suddenly left alone with thoughts and emotions that were just as confusing as the ones from last night, but which were thankfully nowhere near as painful. But what the hell had just happened? He couldn't work it out.

Heading back to class a carefully measured five minutes later, Rick tried not to let himself be distracted by Kieren, but it was a losing battle, so he just put his head down on the desk and listened half-heartedly to the teacher talking about death and decay in Hamlet.

His next, and final, class didn't go as well. Rick wished he's suggested that they both excuse themselves from the class at the same time - Kieren was in biology, Rick in physics. He tried to entertain himself by testing the effects of gravity on the pencil he kept rolling off of his ring binder, but even double maths never passed this slowly.

When, finally, he got to the bus and ignored his usual seat at the back in favour of sitting with Kieren, the hand carefully reaching out to hold his in the space between them made any doubts Rick had been determinedly ignoring fade completely. He couldn't lean across and kiss Kieren, so Rick settled for firmly squeezing the hand in his as he laced their fingers together. There was no way he was going to lose Kieren that easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kieren's anger in this is born out of frustration and helplessness. On the one hand, he hates being picked on and always being the victim, and on the other, he hates how he's come to feel about Rick. He feels trapped by pretty much everything, and he thinks Rick would be so much easier to deal with if he wasn't such a patient friend. Truthfully, he absolutely despises what Bill does to Rick - he can see it much more clearly than anyone else, and he knows Rick is better than that - so that part of his outburst stems from his frustration at Rick's efforts to please Bill, and the fact that Kieren is afraid of Rick turning into what Bill wants him to be.  
> The change in attitude though... well, thinking back on what he said, Kieren hates himself. He doesn't know how to take back words he knows will have cut Rick deeply. He withdraws and tries to keep away from Rick because he doesn't feel like he deserves such a loyal friend. He also kissed him. He never wanted Rick to know how he feels, because it's something taboo, and just doesn't happen in Roarton. Kissing him was a mistake - one Kieren had been too angry to think about making at the time.  
> He later realises he should've had a little more faith in Rick. Rather than ignoring it (and Kieren), the guy not only reciprocates, but actually seem to want it too.
> 
> Rick, on the other hand, has learnt that anger doesn't help. It's an emotion he has seen lead to people (namely his mum and himself) being physically and emotionally abused (by his father), so it's something he tries not to let show in himself. He didn't think Kieren's anger would ever be directed at him, but is painfully quick to decide that he's done something to deserve it. That's the way it is with his dad - it's never Bill's fault for being in poor control of his own emotions, it's always someone else's fault (often Rick's) for not doing something right.


End file.
